I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
