you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
