According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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