? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
