I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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