I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize