dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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