laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
