I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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