You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
