More tranny stories later!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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