just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
