he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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