No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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