so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
