Sponge bath it is.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
