I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
