WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
