obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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