Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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