just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize