Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
