I'm really into asian looking animals
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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