I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
