there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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