Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
