Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
