fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
