At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm passing your future prison.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
