i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize