i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Bring me that man meat
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize