If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
