"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
