I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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