I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
