If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
