thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I cockslap morals
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize