It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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