And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just want nice things and good sex
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
