awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
