wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dick very happy bro
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
