Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize