I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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