I cockslap morals
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She's just so happy...and so naked.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have feelings that need drinking.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
