Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
