gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
