What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
