a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize