I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
