just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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