I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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