oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
