I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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