Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
