East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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