it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
