i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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