So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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