Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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