He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize