Christians are straight up FREAKS
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
